Not So Hopeless Wanderer

How most people see the Octo

I recently had a very good conversation with my friend Denica McCall about perspective.
Well, that wasn't exactly what we were talking about, simply what I saw. You see, it started as a very pointless conversation over text, in which I decided the octopus emoji best fit my mood. If we both had the same type of phone, there'd have been no problem. But since I have a Windows phone, and I meet very few others who do, our emojis look different.

How I see the Octo

While I use the emoji in moments where I feel like I should use a face, but don't know what to use, most other people don't see the derpy, awkward expression from the octopus like I do.
Does this stop me from using them? No! And I was quick to explain this to her.

But that got me thinking...
Why don't I do the same thing with all of life?
Who cares if other people see what I see? Should that stop me from doing what I love or trying to make connections?
No. It shouldn't.



For example, I wrote a post recently for Holy Week. If you haven't read it, you should. (Click Me!)
In the post, I talked  about the cycle of remembering and forgetting. How it's something we can't really stop, but that doesn't mean we can't learn to work with it. It also doesn't mean we should beat ourselves up over it.
While that post was awesome in it's own rights, I didn't say all I had to say on it. It was partially because, like the post suggests, I let myself forget where my worth lies.
My worth does not lie in the opinions of other people.
But still, I let what other people might think, keep me from sharing one of the biggest inspirations for the post.

If you've spoken to me, you know a few things: I love music, I love words, I love God, and I don't learn things easily. God knows this too, obviously. He knows I need to see something a million different ways before I really get it. I may understand before, but until I see it a few times or hear it a few ways, I will doubt that I really understand it as fully as I could.
Because of this, I don't generally talk (or blog) in depth about things I'm learning from God until I feel like I've got it (unless you're in my inner, most trusted circle).
For a month, God's been teaching me about this cycle of remembering and forgetting, but it didn't seem to really click until last Sunday.

I had just bought the 2012 Mumford & Sons album, Babel, and was loving every minute of it.
Why did it take me three years to buy the second album of what is easily one of my top three favorite bands? I don't know. Maybe it was God saving the music for me, so I could discover it fresh while learning all of these things before I attached different meaning to the songs.
Either way, my brother and I were jamming out to the new tunes and I was looking up song lyrics while listening.
The song "Hopeless Wanderer" came up. This was exactly the song I needed to hear. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I had only just learned about the cycle and, in the weeks following, I was in a state of remembering. The weekend I bought this album, was my first period of slipping back into my old rut again. It was this song that helped me remember that this is just a cycle, that I must simply turn to Jesus again.

"How does Mumford & Sons help you make connections to God?" Some of you may be wondering.
God doesn't belong in a "Christian" box. God is everywhere and he can show us amazing things through even a random secular, English Alternative rock band. I see a lot of spiritual themes over Mumford's music, but maybe that's just me. I like looking for God anywhere and everywhere, and He frequently presents Himself in places I would never have expected.
Just listen. Really, here. Listen.

First off, I don't know about you, but the first thing I thought when I heard the line, "Don't hold a glass over the flame, don't let your heart grow cold. I will call you by name, I will share your road," was when Jesus tells his followers not to hide their lamps under a basket or a bed, but to let them shine brightly for all to see.
But that's not what struck me about the song. No, that was the verse where the song got it's title.

Source: Flickr

"But hold me fast,
Hold me fast,
For I'm a hopeless wanderer."

This is me.
This is me crying out to God, "I am a hopeless wanderer, forever doomed to the cycle of remember and forget! So, hold me fast, Lord. Keep Your hold on me, for without You, I am doomed to wander for nothing."

It's all over the rest of the song, too! Do you hear it?
No? Oh well. Maybe it is just me.
Jesus shows Himself to me in some weird and glorious places.

We are all hopeless wanderers, but Jesus stooped down and chose to walk alongside us on this wandering road.

The Vicious Cycle Of Remembering and Forgetting

With Palm Sunday just past, and Easter on it's way, let's give a big "HELLO!" to Holy Week!

I don't know about you, but especially in past years, I've had trouble actually getting much out of these times of year. Times like Holy Week and Advent were created for remembrance of this great thing the Father has done for us through his Son, yet many of us in America don't remember. We know the stories by heart, but they've stopped affecting our hearts. We remember times in our lives where we were so on fire for Jesus, but we can't seem to feel that anymore. He feels distant, past, not present as He should.
Does anyone else know what I'm talking about?
I imagine many of you do, for it's all part of the human cycle of remembering and forgetting.
We remember we are children of an eternal King, chosen by a limitless Father, saved by His perfect Son, Jesus, who is also our Brother. We are pumped! We are excited! Everything in our lives has purpose. Everyone we know is this beautiful creation with God's very breath within them. Every conversation we have, thing we do, and dream we have seems to center around this indescribable understanding.

And then we forget.
We let the lies of the world creep in on us.The doubts from our past whisper in our ears, telling us we aren't good enough. "You aren't worth it," they say. "Who would ever choose you? You are nothing more than the scum of the earth with no talent, wisdom, or love to offer anyone." We completely forget who we just realized we were. We forget our purpose.
To love and be loved by our Creator.
But along with forgetting our identity, we forget His.
By doubting our worth, we choose to believe what our imperfect society and peers say about us, putting our worth in their opinions rather than God's. Through this, our behavior says, "God, you were wrong in sending your Son to save me. I'm not worth it."

Now, stop for a moment and let that soak in.
While you're letting that settle and wondering if this is something new to mankind since our society has gotten so loud and opinionated, or if this is how it's always been, let me tell you a story.

There was once a man named Jesus. Jesus had a lot of people who loved Him and would follow His words to their death. But within those who followed him, He had twelve friends, and within the twelve there were three who were closest to Him. Among the three was one man. His name was Peter. Peter loved Jesus very much, and Jesus even told him that he would be the rock on which He built His church.
When betrayal entered the group, all of Jesus' friends fled, terrified of what would happen to them if they stayed with their Friend and Lord. All except for Peter, who followed Jesus at a distance, determined to stay with him even through this. But while he was watching and waiting for his Lord, someone came up to him and said, "Hey, you're one of Jesus' friends, aren't you?"
"No," he said. "I haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about. That's not me. That's some other Peter, but most definitely not me."

Okay, maybe that's not exactly how it went, but you get the idea. Peter, along with the rest of the disciples, completely forgot who he was. He forgot he was chosen. He forgot that he's so much more than this earthly body, this costume. He let fear enter his camp.
We try to justify fear, saying it keeps us safe. But it doesn't. Fear only makes us forget that we are already loved by our Father and the storm holds no threat over us.
Fear does not save. Fear only makes you forget what you already have.

I bring this up, because I felt myself slipping into this familiar rut of forgetting over the weekend. I spent a month feeling on top of the world! I had God on my side, and nothing could touch me. Ever.
But discouragement began to creep in, and I started measuring my worth based off what I could do. Again.

It was during that month of remembering who I was that I learned about this cycle and truly started to see it in my life as well as the lives of those around me. Remember, forget. Remember, forget.
Ironically enough, though, when you start to slip into that stage of forget, not only do you forget who you are, but you forget that this is a cycle!
It's so easy when you start to let the world dictate your worth to resent yourself for not feeling as free as you once did. You wonder what you did wrong to bring you to this low. You forget, then, that this is just a cycle.
Like any cycle, it will continue. You will remember again.

Whenever fear and doubt threaten to make you forget, stomp it out. Stand your ground and face that fear, saying, "Satan, you hold no power over me, for I am loved, chosen, and valued by my Father. And nothing will ever change that! Ever."
Do not allow fear to overtake you, dear ones. It holds no power over you.You are not alone. You have God on your side, and countless others, including Peter, who have all gone through this cycle of remembering and forgetting.


Keep your focus on the Lord. Even when you feel yourself forgetting, continue to dive deep into his everlasting love.
You will remember. I promise.