Behind the Scenes

Several weeks ago, my fiance and I entered into what we call "super save mode," meaning we don't buy anything we don't absolutely need. What pushed us into "super save mode" was simply life. With a wedding and honeymoon to pay for all our own, him still in school, and me about to start cosmetology school in a couple months, we knew we couldn't afford to throw our money on things we didn't need.

We were doing great with our new saving plans, and even found ways to do stuff with friends that wouldn't cost much, if anything. Then we were hit with some pretty rough news.

The VA was cutting John's funding early. That meant no monthly housing allowance that he had been using for rent, bills, and food for the last year and a half. It also meant that the last five weeks of his schooling would not be paid for. We were both very grateful that his school is allowing him to put off paying the remainder until he graduates, but with all the saving we already needed to do, that extra blow really hurt.

Knowing I would have to help with his rent and bills on top of my own. it was easy for my mind to jump straight to thoughts of desperation we all have when something big or scar is thrust into our laps unexpectedly. I'm sure you know the thoughts I'm talking about. They often come in the form of "why" questions.

Why is this happening to me?

Why me?

Why didn't God do something to stop this?

But as quickly as those questions crossed my mind, they blew away. Because I remembered ways God had provided in the past and I knew His nature hadn't changed since then. I knew He would provide again. So, following the advice of my mother (as moms always give the best advice), I began to pray. I didn't pray that He would provide, for I already was sure of this fact. Instead I began thanking Him for what I already knew He would do, but had not yet happened.

While I already had peace about the situation, something about putting my faith into action in this way seemed to solidify my surety that it would be taken care of even more so.

Then, as He often likes to do, God surprised me. The very evening the new hit, I came home to find a piece of mail sitting on the table, addressed to me, from my school. I opened it to find a response to a scholarship I had applied for--one I had been told was for $500. Upon reading the letter, I found that I had not been awarded 500, but $1000!

Already His provision was showing up.

While I may not know how the rest of this mess will be sorted out, my heart cannot help but rejoice in what I know He is doing behind the scenes.

In times like these, I often let the holy Spirit speak to me through music, as He is so good at doing. This time around, he keeps drawing my mind back to The Day That I Found God, off Switchfoot's new album, Where the Light Shines Through.

This noose ain't getting any looser.

I get so fearful about the future.

I feel the shame of my accuser,

But that ain't you.

The accuser, the father of lies, wants nothing more than to distract us from what the Lord is doing in our lives. Do not buy into the lies he throws your was in an attempt to blind you with shame over things you cannot help.

Where is Go out in the darkness?

'Cause the voices in my head ain't talking honest,

Saying maybe you made us then forgot us,

But that ain't you. That ain't you, no!

And all I know is that I still don't know a lot.

I don't know how it ends, I'm in the middle of this plot.

Yeah, I found grace for the man that I am not.

I found out the day I lost myself was the day that I found God. 

God didn't forget you. He is working right now, whether we can see it right now or not. We are still in the middle of this story, by the end it will all make sense and we will see all he's done for us along the way. One crisis doesn't mean it's over. For God likes to show up in the place where we've lost everything. Especially ourselves.

I hope that my experience may encourage you to have faith that whatever may be going on in your life or whatever is going on in the world that makes you wonder where God is or what He is doing, that He is working for you constantly, behind the scenes.

Our Brother Redeemer

It's been a while since I've written any posts, and for that I apologize, especially to my random readers from outside the country (I don't know who you are or how you found me, but you guys are awesome!). And by "a while," I mean about nine weeks. Between editing my first book for a third time, starting its sequel, getting engaged, and going with my fiance to multiple different doctor's appointments, life was just so busy I didn't have time to think of what I would blog about, let alone do my research and write the blog.
But today I am here to put that to an end! For now, that is.

That being said, last week my daily bible study found me in the book of Ruth. This tiny book, sandwiched between Judges and 1 Samuel, is often overlooked because of its size. Despite that, the story of Ruth is an amazing one. For those who don't know the story, allow me to summarize.

There was once a woman named Naomi who had two sons. She and her husband and sons moved to Moab, where the sons married two Moabite women. Within ten years, both Naomi's husband and her two sons had died, leaving her with her daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth. Naomi, wanting now to return to her own people, urged the girls to stay with their own and find new husbands. While Orpah took the offer, Ruth refused to let her dear mother-in-law return home alone. In an act of loyalty, Ruth proclaimed, "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God."
When they got back to Judah, Naomi remembered her husband's relative, Boaz, who owned many fields. She instructed Ruth to follow his workers and gather what they left behind in their harvesting. Boaz took kindness on her and told her to gather only in his field, where she would be safe from those who wished to take advantage of her. Meanwhile, he told his workers to leave extra behind so she and Naomi would have plenty to eat.
Now, in biblical times, if a woman was widowed, it was the job of the nearest relative on the husband's side to redeem her in marriage so she would not be left husbandless. Knowing that Boaz was related to her husband, Naomi sent Ruth to appeal to him. When Ruth found Boaz, he was working on his threshing floor, and she waited until he stopped to eat supper and rest before she made her appeal. Then Boaz, wanting to be fair, told Ruth that there was someone nearer of kin than he, who he would seek out and see if the other man was willing to marry Ruth. He also said that if the kinsman-redeemer was unwilling that he would, "as surely as the Lord lives," do it himself. He then, invited Ruth to sleep at his feet that night so she would not have to walk home in the dark and be vulnerable to predators of the night.

For a while, I thought the main point of Ruth's story in the bible narrative was simple because it is the story of King David's great-grandparents. But this time, something struck me that was so much deeper, especially when reading verse 13 of chapter 3 where Boaz says, "Stay the night, and in the morning if he wants to redeem, good; let him redeem. But if he is not willing, as surely as the Lord lives I will do it. Lie here until morning."
Boaz and Ruth's story is so much more than just a story of David's lineage, it is also an excellent parallel of God and us. Boaz took in Ruth as a protector when she was dirty, homeless, and rejected, sending her away with the food she needed to survive. God in the same way protects us from the forces of darkness and provides us with what we need to survive in this sin battered world. He pursues us further by instructing us to turn to no one else for protection and provision, knowing none else could satisfy our hearts like He could in the same way Boaz told Ruth to work only in his fields where even his workers would protect her from harm. And in the same way Boaz stepped in to fulfill a law that Ruth could not fulfill by herself, God came down to our level to show us His love by fulfilling the Law which we could not keep on our own so that we may live the life he designed for us to live--one where we are not vulnerable, alone, or unloved.